Usually, when you see a scrotum at a grocery store it is all wrinkly. A fresh scrotum, however, is nicely smooth. Test for ripeness by hitting it against a countertop or, if you're at the store, use the filthy linoleum floor. It should make a solid, wet sound. The wrinkling happens quickly, so your best option is your local farm stand. Did I say scrotum? I meant avocado.