ERC1155

When I talk about my journey, I tend to make it seem like I woke up in a state of gratitude and grace. But this isn’t what rock bottom looks like. I’d like to share the raw story: I woke up with my hair in a knotted mess. The first thing I noticed was a tube down my throat. I was confused and angry. I gestured for the doctor to remove the tube and he refused. The second thing I noticed was that I could not move my limbs. I looked down and saw that I was bound to the hospital bed with restraints. They later told me this was to control the seizures. My arms were bruised and bleeding where they had put the IV’s in, because during these seizures, I was slamming my arms on the bars of the bed. They told me I had been in a coma. The hospital staff was relieved, but at the same time, visibly furious with me. They poked and prodded me as if I was a corpse, which I previously almost was. There were tubes coming out of what seemed like every part of my body. They scolded me. They told me that they almost lost me there. The detective came and told me I was the only person to survive an overdose, that he’s seen, in his ten years of work. He told me that he’s attended every funeral. But not mine. I was in pain. I was cold, then hot, then cold again. I was angry and hostile. I was missing jewelry and my clothes were cut up and on the floor. They clearly wasted no time. I learned that I was left out in the snow to die. All I wanted was a cigarette. After two days of being bedridden and on watch, I went to the hospital shower. The water pressure was terrible. It was that of a light drizzle; something that on any other day, I would think could never get me clean. But it was the first shower of my life, and in that moment, I realized I was the cleanest I have ever been. I was on watch for a few days before I was transferred to a long-term rehab. My clothes were still cut up in the corner of the room. My parents had already confiscated my cell phone so I couldn’t make any counterproductive phone calls. I had nothing. With my cut-up clothes still lying in the corner of the room, I left the hospital naked, in nothing but a thin hospital gown and my winter boots, to go on to the next phase of my journey. I had nothing. I had everything. I was free.

Name

gm

Owner

0x81a6b56702C8FF4Ea6bd061647023a287142CFB9

ID#72912454…504321

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N/A