"Duck and Cower!" Crisis actor classes turn failed actors into national heroes, many of whom have gone down in history for their chilling performance deaths (real) caught on tape! "There's a sacrificial element to being an artist. You put the performance first, and yourself second. It's not for everybody, but it's a beautiful thing to lose yourself like that." - unidentified 101 alumnus, seen outside Tzokar Sarnayev’s house in a baseball hat and cargo shorts. In Intro to Crisis Acting 101, students learn 'How to Get Shot and Scream (The Basics).' The bar is raised exponentially with Crisis Acting 301—by this time students are on the recieving end of real gunfire at the David Hogg Anti-Gun Shooting Range. Sadly, many students die in training before ever getting the chance to perform—a tragic risk that is necessary to resist tyranny. By the time students have degrees in hand, they're fully prepared to do their part to stop and/or enhance the vividness of school shooting(s) and other such events. Graduates receive a burner phone and are instructed to keep the ringer on for when call time is announced. "We’ve got to ban these fucking guns. I mean it's 2039—why do these things still exist? They're too dangerous. If I have to take a bullet to protect myself from gun violence, I'll do it." - Janice Chang, Yale Sophomore class of ‘41 (translated from Fob-Fentee) ---------------------- Honor Roll BANG BANG BANG.. BANGBANGBANG, BANG-BANG!: Pick a creature to enroll in Intro to Crisis Acting 101. ♦ Creature graduates after two (2) turns, and can now make something terrible happen at any location, on command! ♦ Destroy any location card, at will. ♦ Creature retains this skill and may use it once per turn until killed