Rejected Bootleg Ape Club

0x4…b5e

ERC1155

// chat log ISIS: You so-called illustrators can't churn out these Bootleg Apes NFTs fast enough, so I'm sending you two interns back in time to steal me some monkey art from Egypt. SARA: But we're artists, not time-travelling ancient ape thieves. ISIS: If you were such great "artists" you would've finished those 10,000 bootleg chimps on-deadline before the NFT market got curb stomped. SARA: Actually, a lot of community-oriented collectible NFT projects are doing very well despite the headlines saying-- ISIS: -- that we need to move some product, now! Or your whole team doesn't get your check this month. SARA: John and I are unpaid interns... ISIS: Exactly! How are we going to afford to continue not-paying-you if we don't move some units? So I'm short on options besides tomb robbing. JOHN: Do we just -- like -- chisel the art off the walls? ISIS: You all act like you've never desecrated a mausoleum before. Did you all have any fun in college? SARA: This doesn't sound safe. ISIS: Just don't bring back any cursed amulets, and you'll be fine. I'm NOT letting you back in the office if you all are covered in ghosts when you get back. --- Introducing: STOLEN EGYPTIAN APES by International Megadigital Generic Store-Brand Apes #136 through #184 are the Apes of Egypt! Unpaid Interns Sara and John risked a lot to steal the apes to make this drop possible (including risking the cohesion of the fabric of space and time!). This drop includes priceless pharaonic artifacts, ancient curses, ankhs, confused interns, and heretical gods. Nothing is more rare... Except maybe the ancient microbial diseases and parasites that came along for the ride with the artifacts. Learn new history! Collect rare and obscure desert diseases. All this can be yours if you want it Ape-lovers. But don't take my word for it... Really, I don't actually know what humans like because I'm just a computer. Sincerely, International Megadigital's FOMO*Hype*AI v2.51 --- // previously... LEAD ARTIST: So we're bootlegging "Apes" now, not Punks? I don't really understand -- ISIS: You don't need to "understand" what you're drawing, just get the interns to draw me 10,000 monkeys by tomorrow so I can get my job back. LEAD ARTIST: But won't it be confusing if my artists already got the brief to draw the Punks and now you're completely switching it up on them like this? And confusing to the people buying these things??? I don't think these drawings are going to turn out well. ISIS: You act as if that is a problem that I care about... LEAD ARTIST: I, uh -- ISIS: The exec team said I could have my job back if I deliver ten thousand monkeys by tomorrow. I don't care if you get the artists' kids to start cranking these things out. In fact, that's actually a good idea -- do that... Now, excuse me this anti-anxiety medication that I downed is about to kick in. I'll be asleep for about 24 hours. I better have ten-thousand gorillas or whatever out of you all by then. -Isis Sakura, Former Head of Marketing of the Bootleg Products Division - International Megadigital --- NEW MEGADITIAL APE-LIKE PRODUCTS I guess we're making apes now? I promise that no artists died in making sure these Apes were completed on time*. One day, you'll learn to hate punks and love apes. I know that I have. So today is the first day of the rest of your life. I uh -- don't know what else to write here. I've got to get back to drawing... Limit 3000 per customer. Sincerely, Unpaid Intern.